The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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