I didn't shave. On purpose
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
