I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I need a hoe opinion
go on
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize