why didn't you poke me back
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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