Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
