At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
