in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I have fence marks all over my body
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
