we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize