it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
