Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
