wanna go halves on a baby?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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