she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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