but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
