I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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