His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
