woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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