planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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