It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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