me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
