Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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