Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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