i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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