i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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