do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
