How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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