if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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