Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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