All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
