We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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