so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
