Having a random hookup so left but love u
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize