dude i'm inner monologue high
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he fucked my hip out of place.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
