you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's official drugs can't kill me
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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