Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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