Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
