dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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