But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
