I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
