I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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