I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Randomize
