he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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