sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
