I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
