I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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