Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
