Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
