NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
