im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
