You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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