So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
