she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
