I think my fart just growled at me.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
