Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
