well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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