I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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