You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize