how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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