Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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