Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
