Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
