Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
