I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
