Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
