I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
last night I used snow as a chaser
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
