so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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