Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
