I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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