So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
